Warts and All

by Raven Cotyledon

I sometimes worry that this blog sounds too much like “Rah, rah, communes!”  I don’t want anyone to think that the communes are perfect or that we are trying to claim that the communes are perfect.

Far from it.  The communes are filled with people and since there aren’t any perfect people, there aren’t any perfect communes. It’s true that many of the communes have high aspirations but even if the people in them managed to perfect themselves, the boundaries between the communes and the rest of society are very porous, with folks leaving and new folks coming in all the time.

Almost any ill that you can find in society, you can find in the communes.  I have hung around at various communities long enough to see the problems and bad behaviors fairly close up.

 

wart
Diagram of a wart

I occasionally think about writing this and even giving some of the gory details so this blog doesn’t sound too idealistic and to balance things out, but I generally don’t because, first, it would make me very unpopular at what ever commune I talked about, second, because folks who are threatened by the very existence of our communes would publicize these incidents as a way to destroy our communities,  and third, none of these are anything that you can’t find in some corner of any city, or for that matter, almost any rural town.

So, if the communes share all the problems the rest of the society has, why put all the work into creating them?

My answer is that they are also doing some things that you can’t find anywhere else. For example, Twin Oaks does have their fair share of problems and even pass out a booklet saying that they are not utopia, but they also have nearly a hundred people who live communally and share way more than you will find almost anywhere else, and they have been doing it for over fifty years, and contrary to many people’s expectations, there is no dictator or group of people that run everything.

fj_greatdictatorreview
Charlie Chaplin as the Great Dictator

I say this because I saw something where someone commented on an article about Twin Oaks that any arrangement like that ‘invariably’ ended up with a small group running everything–and, honestly, Twin Oaks is a communist society, and the mainstream wants you to believe that a communist culture has to end up in a dictatorship. I can tell you that no one there would allow it.

I single out Twin Oaks because they are the oldest and biggest of the communes, but every one of the communes is an experiment, trying to live a different and better way. Some work (at least in the sense they last) and some fail, but each is a valiant effort and we can learn from each failure and each success about what is possible. And given the very fallible people they are filled with and the society that they are surrounded by, they struggle with all the problems you can name.

But I prize each of them, warts and all, because they point the way to another future. Another world is possible, and we are carving the way.

world

____________________________________________________________________________

Thanks for reading! This post was made possible by our patrons on Patreon. The Commune Life team works hard to bring you these stories about our lives in community, and that work couldn’t happen without support from our audience. So if you liked this article, and want to help us make more like it, head on over to https://www.patreon.com/communelife to join us!

Deep gratitude to all of our patrons:  

Communities

  • Acorn Community
  • Compersia Community
  • Cotyledon Community
  • East Brook Community Farm
  • The Federation of Egalitarian Communities
  • Twin Oaks Community

Communards

  • Tobin Moore
  • Kai Koru
  • Jenn Morgan
  • Jonathan Thaler
  • Nance & Jack Williford
  • Julia Evans
  • William Croft
  • Aaron Michels
  • Cathy Loyd
  • Laurel Baez
  • Magda schonfeld
  • Michael Hobson
  • Sasha Daucus
  • William Kadish

Thanks!

Advertisements
Warts and All

The Blog is Back

by Raven Cotyledon

If you have looked at this blog over the last six to nine months, you will have noticed that there have not been a lot of posts.  I stopped managing Commune Life about the middle of last February due to a combination of internal politics and some burnout. Since then, the quantity of posts has gone way down, with a flurry of posts around this summer’s Communities Conference. Over the last few months there has been one post a month, written by me.

Prior to February, we had been publishing three posts a week, every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. One of the things contributing to my burnout was trying not to have most of the posts be written by me.  I was constantly contacting communards and requesting posts from them. Unsurprisingly, most communards are busy people. The most common response that I got was that they thought it was a great idea and would love to write something–when they had time. Sometimes they would write something, eventually.  Often the result was repeated email chains promising “soon…” or, worse, no longer even responding to my emails.

In spite of that, I managed to keep to the Monday, Wednesday, Friday schedule for twenty-one months, nearly two years.  Some folks might regard this as a symptom of insanity. Further proof of insanity would be that I intend to return to that schedule again, starting with this post.  But there are some differences.
maxresdefault

The biggest is that this blog is now part of a whole Commune Life family.  Maximus took over the management of Commune Life this summer and has expanded it to include a YouTube channel, a Facebook page, and an Instagram feed.  Commune Life is no longer a lonely little outpost, but part of its own little community. One of my difficulties had been having no understanding of or skill with social media. Now there are other folks working on the social media aspects.

Where I had devoted Mondays to new articles and Wednesdays to photoessays, this time around, I will include both on Mondays and use Wednesdays to repost the YouTube videos that Maximus and others have been making.  Fridays will once again feature re-posts of pieces about communes from around the internet. And, unfortunately, many of the Monday pieces will probably be from me.

I will apologize in advance. I want to show the diversity of income-sharing communities and feature a variety of writers but, given how busy communards generally are, I will give them and me a break, and just write a bunch of the upcoming posts.  That said, I still hope to get as much new stuff from other folks as I can. This is not *my* blog and there is a good chance I may get other folks involved in the future which may result in more writers on this blog.

And while most of the communities featured will be part of the Federation of Egalitarian Communities, occasionally we will do posts on communes out of the FEC, either because the communities aren’t in North America or because they don’t fit in the current FEC criteria, which I hope will change soon and I will talk about next week.

Finally, and best of all, the blog and the YouTube videos and Instagram pix and Facebook features are all part of one endeavor. Or goal is to show that communal life is a vibrant reality.   Another world is not only possible, it’s here. And at Commune Life, we want to make it visible.

icon-phone

 

____________________________________________________________________________

Thanks for reading! This post was made possible by our patrons on Patreon. The Commune Life team works hard to bring you these stories about our lives in community, and that work couldn’t happen without support from our audience. So if you liked this article, and want to help us make more like it, head on over to https://www.patreon.com/communelife to join us!

Deep gratitude to all of our patrons:  

Communities

  • Acorn Community
  • Compersia Community
  • Cotyledon Community
  • East Brook Community Farm
  • The Federation of Egalitarian Communities
  • Twin Oaks Community

Communards

  • Sumner Nichols
  • Tobin Moore
  • Kai Koru
  • Bryan Utesch
  • Jenn Morgan
  • Jonathan Thaler
  • Nance & Jack Williford
  • Julia Evans
  • William Croft

Thanks!

The Blog is Back

What it’s Like to Organize All Three Twin Oaks Conferences

By Julia Onedia

“Ask me again in September.” This phrase is my shield against requests of all kinds—everything from friendly hangouts to an offer to join the tofu management team. I say it so often now that I’m just waiting for the moment when someone asks me “what’s your name?” and all that I can say is a dreamy “September…”.

I was the Twin Oaks Women’s Gathering intern in 2016, which is why I decided to join Twin Oaks [you can read more about my protracted membership process in a future post]. Therefore, it was only logical that I would become a Women’s Gathering organizer this year. I’ve been attending the planning meetings since I was a visitor in January; I traveled to the farm from Baltimore for every meeting but one between then and when I became a member on May 26th.

TOCC pavillion roof.jpg
Twin Oaks Conference Site Pavilion Roof

At some point this spring, I joined the Queer Gathering team thanks to some friendly pestering from the original organizers. From there it became a slippery slope: I was just dipping my toes into Communities Conference work when someone who had agreed to bottom-line the whole conference suddenly left the community to take care of a family member. At that point, I decided to stop fighting it, and I allowed the conference beast to consume my being in its entirety.

As July inches in, everything is eerily calm. The conference site is slowly becoming habitable after its long winter hiatus. I usually have no more than twenty unread emails in my inbox at any given time. I still have time for tofu shifts, cooking, and childcare. But I know that’s all about to change.

Come find me at the Queer Gathering on August 3rd—only slightly deranged—as I lead a workshop on using glitter to battle gender dysphoria and body hate. Then, join me again at the Women’s Gathering on August 17th, slipping into full lunacy as I fittingly lead a group of women to howl and scream at the moon and the sky (it’s healing, I swear). Finally, you might recognize me as hot pink hair on a human-potato hybrid at the Communities Conference from August 31st to September 2nd  as I coordinate childcare and put out (hopefully metaphorical) fires all over the conference site.

Julia asleep on keyboard.jpg
Portrait of the communard as a conference-induced human/potato hybrid

On September 3rd, I sleep. Then you can ask me your questions.

If you want to follow developments of the events on Facebook, here are the pages for these events:

What it’s Like to Organize All Three Twin Oaks Conferences

Gresham’s Law for Communes

by Paxus

There is a little known and not particularly important “law” in economics called Gresham’s Law.  It states that “bad money forces out good money”.  What it is referring to is important for coin collectors and sometimes for treasuries.  For example, in 1965, when they started issuing quarters which had copper cores in them, fairly quickly the all silver quarters disappeared.   Coin collectors and people predicting the increasing value of silver pulled them from the market.

Law1

There is a much more important principle in communes, which is parallel.  Bad communards force out good communards.   Unlike the economic law above, this can be an extremely important and tragic situation.  People who live in income sharing communities, with some regularity ask themselves, “Should I return to the mainstream?” While there are lots of good things about living in communes, the mainstream for different reasons always has some appeal to most communards.  It might be the night life, or the higher disposable income, or the greater privacy, or the social acceptance or a larger dating pool.  (Some of these problems can be solved by living in an urban commune.)

This means when there is a serious conflict between people in a community, many people, at least fleetingly, consider the option of leaving.  For some problematic members, the community is by far the best option.  The mainstream life was perhaps not treating them well, they had limited options, and the commune is satisfying all their needs.  For some talented members, Babylon is offering all kinds of treats and rewards for leaving the commune.  For some small number of especially problematic members, this can means that they can get what they want (the other person leaving) by just digging in and being assholes.

Conflict-photo

Communes hate to talk about this.  We are egalitarian, right?  We are all equal, right?  There are no good members and no bad members?

Bullshit.  We are egalitarian, certainly.  People have access to the same resources and people’s work is evaluated the same hour for hour.  But there are definitely “good members” who contribute to the community in lots of different ways: it might be their musical ability, or their ability to facilitate a meeting, or their marketing or plumbing skills.  They might simply make everyone happy when they are around.  There is certainly no “objectively good” member; it is a judgment call.  But talk to anyone who has spent time in a community and ask them if there are members who they were very sad to see leave, and they will confirm this for you because of the loss to the community when they departed.

Similarly, there are “bad” members.  And they can be bad for lots of different reasons.  They can be corrosive to the social fabric of the commune, they can be sexist or intolerant,  they can have under managed mental health problems which bleed out onto the community, or they can be pernicious gossips (something i am accused of occasionally). And they can just be assholes.

Hair-Pulling

 

This does not mean they should not live in the community.  It does not mean they should have any less access to our collective resources.   If we have selected them for membership, knowing these things about them then we have added them to our family and we need to be responsible for our choice.

But this dynamic is something to be aware of.  It is often the case that people come to Twin Oaks, for example, knowing that living at Twin Oaks would be very good for them.  Transformative, healing, giving them the chance that they always deserved.  And the right thing might be to reject them anyway.  Despite many people’s desires, we are not principally therapeutic communities.  And you need not have a mental health problem to benefit from being in one of these communes.  Often times living collectively, if done with an open heart and self-reflection can help cure you of being an asshole.  Because they are pointing it out to you, people are encouraging you to self-correct and play better with others.  [Commune life has not cured me of being a gossip. In fact, i am worse because there are so many strange and amazing people to talk about.]  It does not always work out this way but it can.

Communes need to ask themselves, “Is this person we are considering for membership good for us, collectively?”  If the answer is “no”, then it does not matter how good commune life might be for them, they should live somewhere else.    This does not mean everyone rejected from a community is a “bad person” hardly.  There are all kinds of reasons why it might not work for someone to be in a particular commune.

communefolks

But understanding the dynamics of Gresham’s Law of Communes is important to make sure that you don’t lose members who you really want to hold onto because they have other options when the person they are in conflict with might not.

 

 

 

 

 

Gresham’s Law for Communes

Almost an orgy

by Paxus (also published on Your Passport to Complaining)

Spoiler:  This post has no descriptions of graphic sex.

“Can I kiss you?” it seemed like a perfectly reasonable question.  It was asked across a cuddle pile in the midst of a party up at the conference site where several people were making new romantic connections.

kiss dice in mouth

“I don’t really know you very well.” Was the reply I was slightly surprised to hear.  But then something really powerful and slightly profound happened.  Nothing.

The mood did not change.  No one got embarrassed and felt like they needed to leave.  No one laughed at the rejection or felt sorry for someone.  The party just moved on.

We think and talk a lot about consent culture in the communes.  We do orientations for visitors and guests so they don’t make cultural mistakes around initiating intimacy, which is easy to do if you are just mimicking what you see others doing.   We explore new types of agreements around boundaries.  And the reward for our efforts is we get to take some types of risks, like my friend who got rejected from the make out session.

consent flow

What this does is create comfort and safety.  It makes people feel like their boundaries are going to be respected.  This in turn often helps them to push limits out.  This reveals new possibilities and new connections.

And thus the party drifted right up to the edge of becoming an orgy.   As a funologist, this is something I want to understand.  For when you push aside all the sophomoric jokes and embarrassment about what orgies are, assuming they are done in a healthy consent environment, they are daring and liminal events.  They change peoples lives.

And in this case, the “almost” does not really matter.  Everyone could feel the possibility, we had created the space that was that safe and daring.

 

Almost an orgy

Is there space for me at a commune?

By Paxus Calta-Star

People ask regularly if there are spaces for new members at the income sharing communities.  This is a current update on the space availability of the various communes in the US with ways to contact them and relevant guest/intern/visitor policies linked.  This information changes with time, so it’s best to check with any community you wish to visit before scheduling your trip there.

cambia wodden sign

Cambia (Louisa, VA) Yes, there are spaces.  Cambia is actively promoting its sustainable environmental education program and has space for both interns and new members.  This 2016 intern announcement is also current for 2017 and 2018.

Mimosa (Louisa, VA) This reforming new community (formerly Sapling) is interested in new members but is currently working on completing housing to provide space and thus cannot currently accommodate people for more than short visits.  Feel free to send them an email.

rainbows at LEF
Double Rainbow at LEF

Living Energy Farm  (Louisa, VA) does have space for interns but is not seeking new members at this time.  They have completed their main residence and are working on additional spaces for new members.

in , , on Wednesday, May 11, 2016.   Sarah Rice

Acorn (Mineral, VA) is full.  Acorn is not accepting new visitors interested in membership until spring 2018.  Acorn does have possible internships starting in January 2018.

is it utopia yet
Nope, not yet.

Twin Oaks  (Louisa, VA) is near its population cap, and continues to accept people for membership, currently if you were accepted you could join right away, but there is some chance we will return to a waiting list soon.    Twin Oaks does not currently have intern spots available.

burning man image
Skip Burning Man

Twin Oaks also hosts an annual communities conference.  This year it is Sept 1st thru 4th (labor day weekend).  If you are seeking communities, this is a great place to discover a bunch of them at once.  And here are 7 reasons it is a better place to spend your time than Burning Man.

Compersia (Washington DC) has at least one space available in this new, urban, commune located in the Brentwood district of DC.  Compersia has had one intern and might be open to more.

Aviva1
Ganas houses

Ganas  (Staten Island, NY) is looking for new members.   While technically not an income sharing community over all, Ganas is supportive of the Point A project and the expansion of the communes movement.  There are occasionally job openings at Ganas but right now Ganas is looking for paying members.

three farmers east wind
Working the soil at East Wind

East Wind (Tecumseh, MO) is full and has a waiting list, but is still happy to have folks come and visit and like Twin Oaks you can apply for membership and be put on a waiting list.   Because East Wind has a gender imbalance it actually has two waiting lists, one for males and one for females.  There is currently a male waiting list of about half a dozen men.  A woman who was accepted now would be at the top of that waiting list, and after three women are accepted, one of the men can be offered membership from the male waiting list.

midden-energy-efficiency-poster
Midden protest art

The Midden (Columbus, OH) is in transition away from being a commune and towards being a NASCO group house in Columbus.

Sandhill Farm (Rutledge, MO) has space for interns and folks looking for a short visit.

Is there space for me at a commune?