Starting from Scratch #6

by Raven

6: Someone Knows Someone

About twenty-five years ago, when Robert and I were busy helping build Common Unity and Common Threads, I noticed something that I thought was interesting.  A bunch of the folks who were involved with the two groups came to us indirectly.

Susan, a key member of Common Threads, was brought by David who had seen a notice about the Common Unity events and started coming regularly.  After a while, David stopped coming to the events but Susan became integral to both groups.  Annie, also a strong member of the Common Unity group who lived at Common Threads as well, was brought by Sharon, who eventually moved on.  Hanna was brought by someone, I can’t remember who.  Lisa came to live with us at Common Threads because she tried to join another household with some Common Unity members in it who referred her to us.

Common Threads, 1998: Me, Lisa, Robert, Noah, Susan, Corina, Amos, and Annie

This was a lesson I thought of often later as I was trying to find folks for other groups.  I’ve found that it’s worth reaching out to folks who don’t seem likely to be in the community you are trying to form, because they might know someone who might be a better candidate..

And I had been thinking of it recently as I have been trying to find new folks to build community with.  As I said in my last ‘Starting from Scratch’ post, I’ve been trying to do everything I could think of to reach out, in hopes that something would pay off.  And, suddenly, it has.  Or at least I hope so.  And it was through someone who knew someone–the indirect method I was talking about.

Someone I know who is interested in community, has a podcast on community and he invited me on.  One of the folks that was on it was someone he knew who has been trying to get a community going, in New England, and they want to do income sharing.  Of course, an income-sharing community in New England is exactly what I’ve been trying to start. Even better, it already has three folks and land and a house.  So I am currently in dialogue with them, trying to figure out if this will work for all of us.

It’s too soon in the process to give any details–I’m hopeful but who knows?  However, I realized that this was a good example of what I’d been pondering for years–reaching out as much as you can because you don’t know who knows someone that might be the person (or in this case the key to the community) you were looking for.

I’ve been reading a lot of social science stuff recently, sociology, psychology, economics, and related biology.  Through it I stumbled on the concept of “The Strength of Weak Ties”.  The basic idea is that loose acquaintances are often more useful than close friends for finding things you want (jobs, for example).  I guess what I’m talking about is the strength of those weak ties’ ties. So, my advice to community creators–pursue even folks that are unlikely prospects, as I have, because they might know someone you might want.