The Queer Gathering–At Last

by Raven

All bright and cheerful at the beginning

Two years ago, I decided I wanted to go to Twin Oaks Queer Gathering.  I’m pansexual and devoted to communal living and I wasn’t sure why I hadn’t been before.  Unfortunately, two years ago was the beginning of the pandemic and all the Twin Oaks events were canceled, and none were held last year either.  Finally, this year the Queer Gathering (along with the Women’s Gathering and the Communities Conference) are being held again.  So I was determined to go and see this fabulous event for myself.

What does “Queer” mean?  From the booklet “Queer Ancestral Futures” which was given out at the gathering:  “QUEER  Noun: A medley of gender & sexually diverse ways of being–identities, expressions, cultures, bodies, intimate and erotic interactions.  Encompasses many different identities & behaviors.  Verb: To Queer is to destabilize, disrupt, expand, bend, blend and transform what has been normalized & naturalized.”  I will just add that it is often a portmanteau word for what is often called LGBTQ+ identities.

The bulletin board with information and schedules

So what did we do all weekend?  Having never been before I didn’t know what to expect.  My friend Warren had been to the 2019 gathering and wrote a bit about it for Commune Life, but that was second hand information.  Here I got to plunge into it.

We started with “Icebreaker Activities”–a round of “Step into the Circle” (example: “If you live in a community, step into the circle”, and we got to see who lived in community), followed by what they called “Speed Friending” (where we paired with a random person and each answered one question for a minute before we were paired with a different random person and answered a different question).  There were supposed to be more activities that evening but most folks were exhausted from just getting there, so some things got postponed.

Saturday started with breakfast and Open Circle (welcoming to the weekend and all sorts of announcements–and everyone gave their names and pronouns for probably the third time), before we plunged into workshops.  I attended one on “Queer Identity and Food/Agriculture” where we mostly talked about the difference between the urban queer experience and the rural queer experience (a cool thing is that there is now a Queer Farmers Network), as well as one on “The Crossroads of Being Queer and Neurodivergent”, which was important for me as I see myself as being ‘on the spectrum’ and have never gotten a chance to explore this identity with others before–especially being able to look at how that relates to my queer identity.

It’s queer and it’s at Twin Oaks–so of course there’s a rainbow hammock chair

Probably the most exciting event for me on Saturday was the lunch–because I attended a lunch event focused on being queer in community and many folks came that had never lived in community and had lots of questions.  There were a bunch of Twin Oakers there but I was the only very experienced communitarian not from Twin Oaks and had to offer other viewpoints.  There was a great and way too brief discussion with lots of questions.  This should have been a workshop.  Maybe next year.

Saturday evening they combined the Queeraoke and Drag Show that hadn’t happened Friday night with the Open Mic, all of which became a raucous talent show, followed by a dance party.

Sunday was Open Space Workshops (basically anyone could give a workshop on whatever they liked) but it was very hot and, in all my years of being at Twin Oaks, I had never been down to the river.  So I led a group down there (I had an idea of where I was going and I did find my way) where we shed all our clothes and hung out in the muddy and very cold river.  (I was too hot going there and then too cold in the river, but it was nice warming up afterwards and nice hanging out with folks and eating watermelon and snacks.)

One of the official 2022 Queer Gathering photos

Sunday night we took the group photo.  Everyone who wanted to be in it could and anyone who didn’t (or wasn’t out at work and/or to family and friends, and couldn’t afford to be in a picture that would show up online) didn’t need to be in it.  (That’s me in the back left side with the white beard and lavender tshirt.) Lying down in front was Stephan who took charge of the event and was always responsive to anyone who asked him for stuff.  Of course, Stephan wasn’t the only one who made this happen.  There were conference interns and lots of Twin Oakers who helped out.

Finally, Sunday night they showed a movie, Fire & Flood by the Queer Ecojustice Project (these were the same folks who put out the “Queer Ancestral Futures” booklet I mentioned at the beginning of this post).  It was a very inspiring look at mostly BIPOC queer folks who were dealing with climate disasters (California fires and Puerto Rican hurricanes) with a clear sense of creating alternative ways of supporting each other.

Stephan who worked hard at organizing this madness

As I said at the beginning of this post, this was the first Gathering since the pandemic, and COVID loomed in the background.  Before we could enter the Gathering, we needed to be tested (and show that we were vaccinated) and we all wore rainbow bracelets which, queer as they looked, actually meant that we had tested negative.  Even after the weekend was over, I was getting emails saying that some folks I had hung out with had tested positive later and urged me to test again.  (I did, but I tested negative.)

I’m glad that I went.  This was a great space for a lot of folks who are often marginalized.  For many participants, this was a place where they could be who they were, be accepted for whatever gender they chose, and be able to connect with others across a variety of identities.  It was lovely to be among so many different folks.  I am convinced that the communities movement needs more queer folks who bring a spectrum of different perspectives with them.  I certainly want to build community with more queer folks.

If you still wonder what this is about–especially if you identify as queer–I encourage you to attend next years event–and hopefully next year it will be even less influenced by the pandemic.

At the end of a long weekend